JEFF & LIZ

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I would spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's,"
and certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,
tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike.
And today may be the last chance you get
to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day
that you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's
okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Jeff's health problems never seemed to get completely better and I am sure because he was never really feeling 100%, it was very hard on their marriage. In 1993, on February 14th, my present husband, Dee, and I had a big church wedding, something I always wanted. I asked Jeff if he could come to Fort Lauderdale with his family, and do me the honor of walking me down the aisle. He was more than happy to accept and started his plans to make the trip with his family. I don't remember ever seeing Jeff look so happy as he was being in Fort Lauderdale to walk his Mom down the aisle, see family that he hadn't seen in a very long time, spending quality time with his two sisters and their children, and most of all, I believe in my heart, he was so proud to bring Liz and the children to show them off. The above picture of Jeff and Liz was taken at the reception at the wedding. He always kept his feelings inside but anyone that really knew him would know what he was thinking and feeling when you looked into those large expressive blue eyes of his. Jeff loved his new family and we were all aware of that.

Jeff constantly complained of breathing problems along with not being able to sleep at night; continual indigestion. He went to the doctor to try to find out what was wrong but they never seemed to hit the nail on the head, not until January 1998. They were still living in Alaska then where it was finally discovered that he had Lung Cancer. They of course operated right away. The tumor seemed to be confined to the upper lobe of his one lung so that was all they removed. It seemed at that time they had caught it all and he did not require any additional treatment except to quit smoking and get regular checkups. He seemed to recover from that surgery and he was thanking his lucky stars that they caught it in time. He decided then to live a healthier life and thinking that living in a warmer climate would help, so they moved to Phoenix, Arizona. They lived there for a while and just did not feel this was the place to build their future. Jeff applied for a job in Hayward, California and his application was accepted. He had great references and ability in doing his job.

Jeff began to get sick, where it was obvious that there was something terribly wrong, after he had started his new job. He was coughing up blood. He had the usual x-rays and as they did not show anything, the doctor diagnosed him with bronchitis. He was put on some strong medicine to get rid of this. The doctor said the blood was probably caused from coughing so hard and the medicine would take care of it. Guess what? it didn't! After 2 weeks of the medicine the doctor decided it was time to take a test where they put a tube down into his lung. As soon as they did this they could see the tumor ..... same place as before but this time even larger. It seemed that when they closed him up after he had the upper lobe removed, they left some cancer cells behind in the folds. They scheduled his surgery after taking more tests, for August 4th, 1999, which just happened to be his 43rd birthday. "Happy Birthday Jeff"! The surgery was a very long one. They found that the tumor had broken through the lung and attached itself to his chest wall which literally had to be scraped off. Their prognosis was not good. He had a Stage 3-B cancer now and they were pretty certain that he had it in his blood stream. His doctor asked Jeff what he likes to do ..... Jeff told him he likes to go fishing ...... the doctor said, "Jeff, go fishing". They gave him about 10 months to live. Jeff was not ready to give up and he wanted to try everything he could to prove them wrong. He had 3 months of radiation after that, which only caused him more pain. Jeff passed away in the early morning hours of January 18, 2000. Jeff fought a brave battle with this dreaded disease, but lost.